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KiwaniScope (Club NewsLetter)

July 2002
Click here for an index to previous Kiwaniscopes
News Items:
KiwaniscopeVolume 3, Number 10                      District Kiwanis's
Award-Winning Bulletin
July, 2002

Athens Kiwanis Little League Baseball Team Excels

Summertime Is the Time to Stay in Touch with Our Youth    The Youth Committee plans to carry out several projects this summer for our youth. First we need to break ground on our S. S. Serendipity Ship Playground at Beacon School.  The first step is to set some poles for the masts and foundation for the deck.  We will pick a date, rent a post hole digger, and set the poles.

Another project is a Jr. Golf League.  We plan to start with last yearís participants in the Kiwanis Jr. Golf Tournament and recruit some more.  We will hold a clinic at the Ohio University Driving Range on West State Street, then take the young golfers to OxBow near Belpre for a match and possibly have another match at Valley View near Lancaster.  We will hold the Kiwanis Jr. Golf Tournament later in the summer.

Another youth project will be a Field Day held at the Nelsonville Residential facility.  The idea is to plan several athletic events and have teams of four people rotate to the various events.  The events could be shooting baskets, chipping golf shots, putting, softball hitting contest, football passing for distance and accuracy, soccer kick for goal, and relay races forward and backward.

We will have awards for the winners and pizza or a cook-out for everyone.  This can be an event for all Kiwanis members and spouses to participate.  The date will be announced later.

June Programs
June 3, 2002: Several people from Tri-County Adult Career Center explained what they do at the Center.  Kim Algeo McKinley, Director of the Career Center, said that they have a staff of 20 full and part-time people off certificate programs which run from 9-18 months in such fields as medical technicians, cosmetology, nurse assisting, paralegal, and office skills training (computers).  They serve over 1,600 people in a year.  Other programs include truck driving, welding, electricity, 911 emergency dispatching, flooring and construction skills.  Other members of the staff are Mary Abel, Mel McKinley, Lynn Klein, and Carleen Hudnell-Powell.

June 10, 2002: Mabel McKnight talked about her rehabilitation when her leg was severely injured in a motorcycle accident.  She went to Dayton for orthopedic surgery by a doctor who had learned the procedure in Russia and had been doing it at the VA Hospital in Dayton.  He put an apparatus in her leg  to have it grow seven inches of new bone.  It took two years to accomplish this.  There had never been that much bone regenerated before. She now walks 21/2 miles a day which is amazing.

June 17, 2002:  Former Kiwanian Paul Grippa, Principal of Athens Middle School,  served as host for our club to tour the remodeled Middle School. It took one full school year to complete the $10.6 million project. June 24, 2002:  Rick Crossen invited our club to attend a Kiwanis Little League Baseball game.

July-August Programs
July 8, 2002: Mike Canterbury, Deputy County Engineer at the Athens County Engineerís Office, has worked in the Engineerís Office for 20 years and loves his work.  He said the Engineerís Office has a $3.4 million budget. They maintain over 370 miles of county roads and 335 bridges.  This compares with 500 miles of Township roads and 280 miles of state highways in Athens County.  Their current project involves renovating the three covered bridges that still exist in the County which is funded with a federal grant.

July 15, 2002: Giles Lee will discuss what goes on at the Hocking College Recreation Center.

July 22, 2002: Doug Bentley will describe life at the Athens County 911 Center.

July 29, 2002: We move to the Athens County Fairgrounds to set up our booth for the Fair.  Millersí Chicken will be served.  Mmmmm!

August 5, 2002: Grace Essex will describe a pre-school connection with a school in Italy.

August 12, 2002: Mary Abel will describe the Camp Invention program which is being held in Athens for the first time.  We provided three scholarships for three students to attend the Camp.

August 19, 2002:  Ray and Marilyn Skinner will share some of their 500 slides taken on a recent tour of Australia, New Zealand, and Fiji.  (Ray went native in Fiji:  Bula!  Bula!)  Letís make this a Spouseís Night.


July 13, Saturday: Join President Bob Roth for a Divisional Council meeting in Chillicothe.

July 15, Monday, 7:00 p.m. Meet at H & R Block for a planning session for the Athens Invitational Marching Festival.

The Kiwanis Club of Athens sponsored an Athens Kiwanis Jr. Bowling Tournament at Rollerbowl on Saturday, June 8, 2002.  The young people had a great time bowling and enjoyed a pizza-pop party with their parents after the tournament.  The winners were the following: Joe Warren, Champion with 165 single game and Champion with 463 series; Eric Davis, Runner-up with 135 single game and runner-up with 314 series in boys 15-18 age group;  Chris White, Champion with 350 series and Runner-up with 124 single game, Michael Johnson, Champion with 133 single game and Runner-up with 281 series in boys
10-14 age group.  Maria Johnson, Champion single game and series in girls
10-14 age group.  Kiwanian Augie Zorn bowled with the young people and rolled a 589 series. Other Kiwanians involved in the tournament were Bill Rader, John Biddle, and Ray Skinner.

We need to support our friend from the Kiwanis Club of Logan for Governor-Elect.  He has been an active member of the Logan Club for 17 years and has served as President, Vice President, President Elect, Board of Directors and Chaired every major committee of his club. At the District level he has been Lt. Governor, Zone Administrator for
Membership, District Chair for Human and Spiritual Values, District Chair for Community Services, District Chair for YCPO, District Chair for Youth Services, District Chair for Achieving Club Excellence, Ohio District Foundation President, Finance and Structure Committee and 2002 District Convention Chair, 2002 Key Club Convention Security Director, Judge at 2002 Circle K Convention.

David was a music major at The Ohio State University and was involved with Law Enforcement for 26.5 years with 15 years service as Chief of Police.  He and his wife Kathy (also an active Kiwanian) have one son and three granddaughters.

Ray's Humor Page:
Mostly jokes shamelessly swiped  from The Internet

How Is Your Golf Game?
Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Woods turns to Wonder and says, 
"How's the singing career going?" 
Stevie Wonder replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?"
Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that going right now."
Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right."
Tiger says, "You play golf?"
Wonder says, "Oh, yes, I've been playing for years."
Woods says, "But you're blind! How can you play golf if you can't see?"
Wonder replies, "I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball toward him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball toward his voice."
"But how do you putt?" asks Woods.
"Well," says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground, and I just play the ball toward his voice."
Woods asks, "What's your handicap?"
Stevie says, "Well, I'm a scratch golfer."
Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round sometime."
Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole." 
Woods thinks about it and says, "OK, I'm game for that, when would you like to play?"

Stevie says, "Pick a night."

Good Advice

Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark...
One:  Don't miss the boat.
Two: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
Three:  Plan ahead.  It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
Four: Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
Five: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
Six: Build your future on high ground.
Seven: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
Eight: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
Nine: When you're stressed, float a while.
Ten: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
Eleven: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.

Subject: Getting Old

There are recent rumors that Julie Andrews did a concert for AARP. Ms.Andrews sang a favorite from the Sound of Music, Favorite Things.  There were a few changes to the words, to fit in with the AARP theme.  Here are the new words to this tune:

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things

When the pipes leak,  When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin,
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinin,
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, when the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

(Are you kidding?)

Quotable Quotes
Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy. Every day I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days Iíve stayed alive. I am a nobody; nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.

Men, You Need to Develop Self-esteem.
A mild mannered man is tired of his wife always bossing him around, so he decides to go to a psychiatrist. The doctor tells him he has to develop self- esteem. The doctor gives him a booklet on assertive training. He reads it on the way home.  When he walks through the door and his wife comes to greet him, he tells her, "From now on I'm the man of this home and my word is law.  When I come home from work I want my dinner on the table. Now get upstairs and lay me some clothes on the bed because I'm going out
with the boys tonight. Then draw my bath. When I get out of the tub guess who is going to dress me and comb my hair?"

"The undertaker." she replies.

Newsletter Editors:
Ray Skinner
John Biddle

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